Well geez, how many ways can we cover this topic? Have you ever been in the mindset that if you only lost this many inches or pounds you would feel better about yourself? Most of us have. The body "norm" that society pushes on us is unrealistic, and actually not even the norm, or average. Because that's what "norm" is...the normal, the average. And really, let's just remember that even those perfect little lean-yet-fit bodies are also AIRBRUSHED before they even print up the images. Why do we do that? Why does society feel the need to make even the best physically fit people even slimmer? That's what most of the body image hype is about these days, being healthier.
Some of you who know me may have heard the story about my husband saying he is fat. But for those of you who aren't, let me give you a recap. My loving "fat" husband made this declaration after grabbing a small little pinch of pudge around his belly. Overstepping his unintentional insult I declared it myself. "That's not 'fat' -- THIS is fat" as I grabbed my own pooch. Well, do you know what his answer was? "Oh but you've had two kids, so it's reasonable that you've gained weight and that's not "fat". I've never been this fat, so this is fat for ME." My husband used to be so skinny that his family jokingly called him a "string bean" growing up. We got married young (he weighed 110...yep a string bean at 5'7"), and I started feeding him food he LOVED even more than his mama's home-cookin'. Then, of course many men in their 20's start trying to build up muscle definition. Even so he didn't get up to 150 pounds until after 8 years of marriage. Fast forward to this past year (almost 12 years after our blessed nuptials) when he starts proclaiming that he is FAT! Yes you heard me, fat. Granted everyone else will say that he is skinny. Not "string bean" skinny, but still thinner than most men. And here I am after two kids, and lots of emotional (which became weight) rollercoasters... weighing approximately 50 pounds more than I did when we got married. So there I was, thinking Yeah, like I had ever been this fat before? To say that I was awestruck about his explanation is an understatement.
While he doesn't make me feel bad about my body image, the body image society sets up is negative for every gender and every age.
Since that mishap, my husband still says every once in a while, how he's fat. And the last time he did it, the boys were there in the room. While they may have laughed and joked with him about it, that small little inkling remained in their minds. My youngest declared one day out of the blue that I was fat. I had to talk with him about how saying that hurts people's feelings and we don't call people fat. Plus that's a relative term, so I also added that I may be bigger than some people I am also smaller than others and I don't consider myself "fat". Hey it makes ME feel better right? Fast forward a few weeks, and my oldest is sitting next to me. And this EIGHT-YEAR-OLD BOY says "I'm fat". That's it, just I'm fat. I laugh and ask him what made him think that? "Because of this" as he pinches the SKIN on his tummy. Not pudge, just skin.
There we are folks. At 8 years old, a boy, who is at the 50% mark for his height and under the 50% mark for his weight, claims he is fat. That means he's skinnier than the "norm". I wish that MORE of society realized how absurd these body images are. And please!! Be careful of whose around when you complain that you don't like your body type. Little ones are everywhere, and even though you THINK they understand the logistics and reasoning...they really don't.
Now it's your turn. Share with us an incident of body image (mistaken or not). I'd really like us ALL to see how unfair it is. And remember, that it really doesn't matter what your body type is, as long as you are happy in life. More importantly, your BODY image is no replacement for who you are as a PERSON. So remember that beauty comes from inside.
